How many licks does it take?'s Journal
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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
I haven't posted here in almost a year and they still haven't deleted my LJ! I prolly won;t use it but if you want to add my new one its username is "kevinoz"
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
wow....I still have friends here...rad!
Tuesday, November 5, 2002
ok I am just gonna type now because I am hella bored...no ones online....and I have nothing better to do! surfing webpages gets old fast and i have been doing it daily for say...6 years now? yeah...lol...sometimes I feel like that one commercial where it says "
alert you have reached the end of the internet...you have seen allk there is to see...please go back....NOW! I keep goin back but nuttin cool ever comes out of it lmao! so the job search has finally turned up something I think i might like...its a place called partys are us or some shit...and they go around making parties for people and they need casino dealers...thatys like perfect for me! I am the ultimate party animal...I like nothing better...so i figure this will be right up my alley....lets all cross our fingers and preay I get the job ok? in other news things are going well with girls again...i got over the whole fuck em all depressed lil self destruct mode and I am back on the prowel...so beware girls...the flirt is back in action ;) I am soooo fucking manic its not even funny....I can go from being hella depressed ready to kill myself to super happy ready to conquer the fucking world in less then 5 second! hahaha oh well...its fun for me...I just feel sorry for the people around me that havwe to deal with my shit :( but eh...its not that bad I guess cuz everyone seems to enjoy it! I went to DC today to leeche an list of old school underground punk rock that I didnt think i would ever find anywhere...I connected to like 300 hubs (no joke) it was like 300 of em and they all had at least 200 users in each...and I found most of what I wanted...funny thing is the guy I got most of it from was in Finland! yes Finland...go figure! But its cool i got lots of good music now...and I plan on getting more...i miss the old punk rock days...arguing politics while sitting on a case of the king bottles (for those of you kids that dont remember the King of beers was Kingsbury and it was the best beer ever)...but youd just reach in grab yourself a new one bite the cap off and spit it at one of your friends that was trashing some political or religous cause...good times I tell ya i wish I could go back to high school life was amazing!But things must change and time goes on so i must go with it...and I really am trying i promise but I better stop now before I have 10 pages of this shit!
Current mood:  horny Current music: NOFX - Beer Bong
Sunday, November 3, 2002
I think I should just start cutting people from my life...like the ones that do me no good! The ones that only bring me pain and wont ever be able to do any different...like earlier I was talking to one of these people and she said "your fucking with my head" but what I realized when i thought about tyhis is I am not fucking with anyones head but my own! I am living a fairy tale in a shamens dream....thinking all this shit could ever be real...people like me just dont deserve good things in their life and I need to accept that! So yeah...if you suddenly dont see me anymore your one of these people I had to make dissapear! Sorry but its whats best for me! and thats all that matters right?
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: guttermouth - under my skin
This is like...perfect for the moment! haha why does this always happen to me? I just dont fucking get it! every person i ever care about just up and moves away or something that makes it so I cant ever get close to them...to actually be with them! rurrrrrrr!!!!!!
What can I say?
I'll bite my tongue again today.
What can I do when I feel so stupid over you?
I wish they'd go ahead and cut it off.
And I don't wanna work anymore
cause' sometimes I just can't ignore
the way I feel when I see you smile.
And someday I'll just shut my eyes
and maybe then you'll realize...
I'm just a fucking geek in love with you.
When the time's right
to use a stupid pick up line?
"So how's the weather???
Do you wanna spend the night together?"
I know that you are just a girl
but in my eyes you rule the world,
I just thought I'd let you know.
You're my best friend and thats o.k.
but I wanna see you night and day,
and wake up holding you right by my side!
I've said my piece so now I'll run and hide.
I'll bring you candy and flowers,
sit by the phone for hours...
Sing a song outside your window
just if you would let me know.
No more waking up lonely. Will you be my
one and only. Please let me know right now.
Cause I'm not gonna live forever.
Current mood: dead Current music: Various Artists - Ataris - Bite My Tongue
I must say its been a good week!
One mindless day of rest wont hurt right?
Thursday we went to State and that was alot of fun, not many people but funny costumes!
One of the girls that accompanied us was wearing this skimpy vinyl nurse costume and people had all kinds of funny shit to scream at her...the best being "nurse I've got something swelling can you help me out?"
But being the two dumb girl had hardly nothing on....and it was like 20 degrees out they got cold fast so we had to leave after like an hour!
We proceeded to Country Kitchen for coffee...then a few of us came back to my place and drank some beers.
Friday night I went to my buddy Chucks place and we had like 7 or 8 people over drinking beers...everyone got a lil too wasted and it was hella fun!
Current mood:  bored Current music: live 11 nobody knows
Friday, November 1, 2002
ok do not ignore the last post...but I have been listening to this song alot! and its almost as perfect as Ed and LIVE so i had to post it for y'all! no I did not write this one...I only wish I could write like this...someday maybe ;)
I'll never be the water
And I'll never be the wine
I'll never be the last hand you hold before you walk inside
I'll never have the last dance
And I'd never had the first
I'll never even get to tell you baby
How good you look
And I'll never be a face on your bedroom wall
And I'll never be a life line you might call
Me amazing
You might say
I'm amazing baby you say
I'm amazing too
I'll never be the wise guy
You never hear me joke
I'll never get to beg at your window
And tell you I've just gone broke
I'll never know the winter
As I walk out your door
I'll never make a fool out of myself
To make you want wanna me more
And I'll never be a face on your bedroom wall
And I'll never be a life line you might call
Me amazing
You might say I'm amazing
You might call me Amazing
You might say I'm amazing
Baby you say that I'm amazing too
Just say that I'm amazing too
I'll never be the water
And I'll never be the wine
I'll never be the last face you see before you say goodnight
I'll never be a face on your bedroom wall
And I'll never be a life line you might call
Me amazing
You might say I'm amazing
You might call me Amazing
You might say I'm amazing
Baby you say that I'm amazing too
Just say that I'm amazing too
You might call me Amazing
You might say I'm amazing
You might call me Amazing
You might say I'm amazing
Baby say
Current mood:  gloomy Current music: David Franj - Never Be Amazing
I figure eh I am bi anyway and boys can be hella cute....I can learn to like em right?
I mean it cant be that bad takin it up the ass, lots of girls love it....and god knows alot of queers do!
haha but then I am stuck in the same situation...so I guess that doesnt work eh?
so heres my idea....I will just stop talking to all the girls I like...and if its meant to be then somehow one will just come along or something like that...but I am sick of trying...no more flirting or asking girls out on dates!
Sorry ladies but this is how its gonna be...I know there are some good ones out there...and I am sorry all these stupid bitches have ruined it for y;all!
Maybe is I get really really wasted down on State sat that will help a bit too?
Alcohol, the cureall
put it down, wash away the frown
buzz sets in, happy again
my life story, always sorry!
Current mood: I gotta sneeze, only get tears Current music: BoDeans - Paradise
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Is it just me or does this happen to everybody?
You start falling in love with someone...even though you dont want to...and you know you shouldnt....because they wont love you back...or ever be able to be there for you....yet you cant stop it from happening!
I find I do this often...too often!
It's not that I fall in love alot....mostly its just crushes and playing around....but it seems eevrytime I do...the person is always unavailable!
Maybe this is some stupid insecurity I have...maybe its the fact that they are unavailable that I feel in love with and I am just not meant to love...but this is like the 3rd fucking time this happened!
Well 4th but I eventually dated one of them for over 2 years....BIG MISTAKE there!
But it has now been almost 2 years since my last g/f (which was the 2 year relationship i just refered to) and I have only been with 2 girls since...didnt go out with either one....though we did and still do have a decent friendship...which is nice....but I need more....I have been soo lonely!
For a while I tthought I could make it without someone...but these last few weeks I have really started to realize how lonely I am!
When I was in that 2 year relationship we lived together for 8 or 9 months of it...I got used to having someone be there for me...cuddle with me in bed...its sooo hard for me to sleep now...I try to cuddle with a pillow but its just not the same...if I have a warm body in bed with me I can sleep my whole life away!
Weird I know...but totally true I swear it...so really its not that I dont want someone there for me...and i am not afraid of commitment or of being hurt...I have felt pains unimaginable to most and I dont really think i can be hurt all that bad anymore!
So its not fear of pain....I guess maybe i just have horrible luck in picking girls!
Maybe I'm just not cut out for having a g/f...maybe I am destined to be single for ever...maybe thats my punishment for being such a piece of shit...or maybe girls just see that I am a loser and thats why they wont date me?
Who fucking knows....I am gonna go insane if I cant stop thinking about all this shit!
Current mood:  distressed Current music: live 01 the dolphins cry
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
corporate america is the joke of our nation
politics and capitalists making their fortunes
the small guy doing the work at his station
while the rich invest their stolen portions
money you rightfully earned by hard working
skimmed by the man in his nice office upstairs
a hardwood desk where he can hide all his jerking
where he rests his feet reclined in leather chairs
nailing the secratary downtown at some cheap motel
the cliches we live portrayed on tv to desensatize
this sick and decaying world goes straight to hell
we wonder why our kids are so hard to immoralize
mean people suckseed
should this really be
I try not to agree
but its all I see
people being mean
definately not me
I pave your street
the unoticed being
Whos that man to stand at podium mic in hand
should have let daddy finish what he started
ask the UN to help support his private war
can we really blame clinton for being retarded
he says he didnt inhale the weed smoke
I did not have sexual relations with that girl
I tell you by his actions this is a great joke
when the presidents the whore of the world
bush beats gore in the first florida fiasco
how ready are you to die for their comfort
uncle sams promises never surface in the afterwar
dictitorial democratic fabric tattered and torn
mean people suckseed
should this really be
I try not to agree
but its all I see
people being mean
definately not me
I pave your street
the unoticed being
greatest trick the devil ever pulled to date
was to make people believe he never existed
our super power climb was an opposite feat
we made people believe we were tight fisted
all we seem to serve are open hand bitch slaps
we hand out small fortunes in high hopes
own places that dont appear on any civil maps
yet we have not even one friend as side ropes
demand reciprocation, an amount of help
or demand they pay us back some of what they owe
it seems we are but mere puppets unfelt
time to cut the strings and give a good show
Current mood: tired Current music: Various Artists - Good Riddance - Mother Superio
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